Feb 20, 2012
I am content
About 5 years ago, I left my full-time job and became a full-time mom with a part-time job. I hated it. I didn't know what I was doing. I struggled, A LOT. Many things, both good things and bad things, happened this past 5 years. I think I made a post back when I started liking it.
I would love to say that now I am content. I am content where I am, who I am, what I do, what we do as a couple and family, how we do things, and a lot of things...I feel just content. Well, most of the time.
It could be because my baby is now a little boy who can understand what I say most of the time and able to follow direction if he wants to. And he is capable of somehow somewhat communicate between his baby signs and his increasing vocabulary in Japanese and English (sometimes it's a guessing game). His sleep schedule is set, so my schedule is kind of set. He tells me "NO!" a lot. But I know he loves me. Oh how much he loves me!
It could be because this winter has been mild. Having sunny days helps. It lightens up everything, house, my mood, my life.
It could be because my husband is happy at his new position. He is not stressed as much as before. He comes home and is able to relax. We chat and laugh. Oh he makes me laugh. I get never tired of that guy.
It could be....many things. But I am happy to be able to feel this way - content. Not overly happy or pretend everything is fine. Everything is not perfect, but I am okay with that.
When I had J 7 years ago. Many visitors at hospital told me that he was "such a content baby". I didn't quite understand the meaning back then, but I start to understand.
It kind of feels good.